


A Little Better

by Adm_Hawthorne, Googlemouth



Series: A Little [2]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: F/F, Rizzles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-07
Updated: 2012-06-07
Packaged: 2017-11-07 04:06:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adm_Hawthorne/pseuds/Adm_Hawthorne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Googlemouth/pseuds/Googlemouth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Follow up to "A Little Unwell" What happens after Jane and Maura wake up? Rizzles. Cowritten with Googlemouth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Characters aren't mine. They belong to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, Turner Broadcasting, Warner Brothers, and other assorted important people. I gain nothing from writing these stories but the fun of doing it. Please don't sue me.

Food poisoning was a bitch.

Jane Rizzoli looked awful and felt even worse. Her skin was wan and sallow, and her eyes sunken and dark. She had lost six pounds in two days, which, on a woman of her whipcord-and-sinew build, was not a blessing. She had gone through four bananas, three pieces of dry toast, two mini-cups of apple sauce, one bowl of rice, and three differently-flavored bottles of Pedialyte over the past two days, not to mention enough water to float a small rowboat.

Her sleep had been erratic, interrupted time and again by emergency trips to the bathroom as her body rejected anything and everything put into it. As a result, the sleep of her best friend, Dr. Maura Isles, who had stayed with her to commit acts of medical mercy, had also been sporadic.

Jane was weakened and dehydrated. She had nearly fainted more than once during the two days Maura had been there, as well as falling asleep in her bubble bath, both of which had caused the doctor no end of anxiety.

Since about nine-thirty that Thursday morning, however, Jane had slept the uninterrupted sleep of the infant, the innocent, the just, and the just exhausted. She had finally managed to rid her body of whatever toxins had offended it in the ballpark hotdog she had eaten, then managed to rehydrate herself enough that even her overprotective best friend had judged her to be out of serious danger. A hot shower and comfortable flannel pajamas had warmed her aching muscles to their usual pliancy. Once Maura had had her own hot shower, she stretched out in bed with Jane, radiating body heat long enough to lull the tired brunette into a much easier sleep.

Truth be told, Maura had been grateful for the excuse to stay in bed all day, too. The honey-haired woman was too self-aware not to know that, as much as she hated that her friend was sick, she enjoyed being the source of whatever comfort she could generate. They had always been physically close, something she assumed all best friends shared. Maura Isles had never actually had a best friend before Jane, but it stood to reason that such a relationship would be expressed in much more tactile ways, along with the increased emotional closeness, over that of standard friendships.

As Maura slowly craned her neck to view the clock on the night stand, she smiled. Jane had now slept over seven hours in a stretch. All that remained would be to get her strength back, and Maura was optimistic in that regard. Jane had always been extremely fit and healthy, which would no doubt help her recover quickly now that the toxins had been purged from her system.

Meanwhile, Maura was thoroughly relaxed, as few things could make her. The previous night's revelations should have made her nervous, tossing and turning restlessly during what was intended to be a shared nap. Instead, she had drifted into sleep almost as easily as had her ailing and exhausted friend, barely rising to half-consciousness when shifting. Not that there had been much shifting. She had, in fact, tried to lie flat and still, so that Jane could simply use her for warmth and comfort as needed, without being jostled or restrained. Maura could face a lot of things, as could Jane – they were, after all, a medical examiner and a homicide detective – but she was fairly certain that neither really wanted to face one another if Jane needed to vomit and couldn't get disentangled from a handsy, sleeping doctor in time.

It had proven impossible, however, not to lightly rest her left arm around Jane's lower back in a loose, languid embrace. Her right hand was raised up by her ear, pinned against the sheets by Jane's scarred, rough hand, at her wrist. Maura was to blame for none of the suggestiveness of their combined sleeping pose, she knew. _Her_ face wasn't the one buried in her friend's neck; that was Jane, warm breaths tickling at Maura's ear and the side of her neck. She also wasn't the one sprawled to cover her friend's body, with a thigh shoved between Maura's in a way that was very nearly _heavenly;_ that was Jane too, though Maura accepted fully the responsibility for the way her own leg hooked up behind that thigh as if to claim it for her own and keep it there. Her lips softened into a lazy, small, secret smile as she pictured what that must look like from various angles, suggestive at best, pornographic at... 'worst'. _Not now,_ she scolded herself, amused at the places her mind had roamed. _The way she's been feeling, Jane wouldn't have the strength, even if she did have the inclination._ Still, the thoughts were pleasurable, so she entertained them idly, having nowhere else to be and nothing else she would rather be doing.

"What are you thinking about?" The raspy voice was still full of sleep and barely above a whisper, but it was clear Jane had been awake long enough to tell Maura was daydreaming about something.

Maura's smile grew, though her eyes steadfastly refused to focus. "Mm," she prefaced her reply, acknowledging Jane's conscious state as she searched for the correct words, precise but not off-putting. "I'm thinking that you don't feel cold anymore. You feel..." She drifted off for a moment, turning her head so that her cheek touched Jane's a little more than before. "...very warm. I also think that I don't want to move. I don't want _you_ to move, either. I like the weight of you on me."

_That's not all you're thinking about if I'm feeling what I think I'm feeling with my thi… whoa, no, I'm not ready for that yet. Too much… way too much too soon._ "If you say so. I have to get up, but I won't be long. I promise." Pulling her hands free and rolling away toward the other side of the bed, Jane gave her friend a sidelong look. _She's going to make us talk about this. I have no idea what to say, but, whatever it is, I hope it ends up with me being able to finish that first thought. God, that woman._ She shook her head as she left the room to run through a short bathroom routine that included washing her face, brushing her teeth, and general clean up.

Once Jane had risen from her spot, Maura pouted a moment, then gave in. "Oh, all right," she muttered, and got up to take her own turn at the bathroom for freshening purposes. Even so, she was back in bed before Jane, who miraculously seemed to need no urging to go and get something to drink in the kitchen. Maura lay down to wait for her, endeavoring to resume more or less the same placement and position she had so reluctantly vacated.

In a very short time, Jane was done and heading back to her bedroom and the warmth of her bed. Without a word, she climbed back in and slid back into her spot, making a demanding grunt when Maura's right arm was not where she left it. _Sound whiny. Don't care._ Small mewling sounds radiated from the detective as she nudge her thigh back into place and grasped in the air with her left hand for the arm she had been holding just a few moments earlier. "Maura," the request within the doctor's name was both pitiable and cute.

A jolt of surprise stiffened the smaller woman's body as Jane's knee found its spot again, but she stilled herself with admirable quickness and made a miniscule adjustment, facial expression acknowledging tacitly what Jane herself had privately surmised. "I don't think you meant to do that," she said, though with a touch of doubt in her voice; she wasn't certain of the innocuousness of Jane's intention. However, she looked puzzled at the little wheedling sounds, until finally she caught on and put her right hand back where it had been, reissuing the tacit invitation to Jane to pin her again.

"Meant to do what?" It was a deflection, though not necessarily in any particular direction. The detective's head was still foggy from sleep and sickness. She was trying to avoid their normal banter for a short time. _Not ready for a battle of wits, too tired right now._ "You're the best body pillow ever. Can I keep you around just for the squishy? I promise I'll keep the house clean, eat health food... mostly, and keep the fridge stocked with that wine you like."

"The placement of your thigh is a little different from what it was before. It's… stimulating in a way I'm not sure you intend for it to be." The hand that had been around the small of Jane's back before, she put back there, running in long, soothing ellipses up and down. "Why don't you settle back down, and you can squish me all you like. You don't have to make any deals or promises. I'll be your pillow indefinitely."

"Stimulating?" _The hell… oh, right… women are different. Morning wood, not so much. But, morning other things, awesome…_ "Sorry, Maur." Voice less than apologetic, Jane shifted, moving her knee slightly away from the spot in question. _Bummer, I liked having my knee there. Okay, **now** I feel a little dirty. _"But, just so you know, I am feeling better," Jane practically purred at the feel of Maura's hand rubbing against her back. "No cramping, no fever, still a little cold, and I'm still a little tired. But, all-in-all, I'm definitely feeling better." With a light touch, she began to play with the buttons running just below the doctor's bust line and over her stomach. "How do you feel? This isn't uncomfortable for you is it? I sort of have you pinned." _Heh._

"Yes, you do. I am well and truly captured, and I'm enjoying it. That feels good." replied Maura with a faintly provocative undertone; she wasn't uncomfortable in the least, whether physically or otherwise. The hand at Jane's back rose a little higher to the back of the shoulder at the zenith of its elliptical path, dipped further down the hip at the nadir. "How _much_ better do you..." Then the mention of tiredness worked its way through, and she looked faintly ashamed. "No. You're not quite there yet, Jane. You wouldn't enjoy what you... seem to be implying. At least, not as much as I'd really like you to enjoy it."

"Maura," exasperation was filtering into Jane's voice, "I'm just being a little playful. I'm still sick. I'm still tired, and I'm _so_ not ready for anything that requires me to learn how do so something I've never done before." _Just once, it'd be nice if she could just gowith the flow, but I guess that wouldn't be Maura if she did._ Setting her jaw, Jane let go of the hand captured in hers and rolled on her back, leaning up briefly to indicate she wanted Maura's hand to not be pinned under her back. "Playful does not automatically roll into… other things. You know, it can just be playful. We've been… um… we've been," she swallowed hard, trying to get the words out, "flirtatious with each other for a while now without ending up … well, I mean," wincing, the detective threw an arm over her face, "This suddenly got hard for me to say." _Maybe I need to eat another hotdog? Oh, not **even** funny coming from myself._ She sighed. "We haven't jumped each other yet. I think it's safe to assume we're not going to suddenly jump each other now just because I've finally realized that we both _want_ to jump each other. But, that doesn't mean we have to stop flirting to keep from jumping each other," from under her arm, she glanced at the woman beside her, "does it?" _God, I hope not. I'm not sure I could stop now if I wanted to._


	2. Chapter 2

Maura moved her arm out from under Jane and propped her head on that hand, the other coming to rest along her own side and hip. "No," she replied after a long, pensive moment. "I just thought you would want that, and now I feel strangely maladroit. I don't usually... I'm not used to being close with... people. There's flirtation, then liaison, and then we part ways. I don't want to part ways with you, but I'm not really used to taking my time. What I usually take isn't time, it's... whatever I can get. So I'm used to..." She took a deep breath. Thousands of dollars and hours of therapy, and finally she would know whether they were well spent. "I'm used to trading sex for the illusion of emotional intimacy. Over the years, I've unintentionally conditioned my body to respond quickly so that whoever I'm with will have incentive to stick around a little longer and keep touching me, so that I can feel... so that I can feel what I need to feel."

Another deep, shuddering breath; though privately Maura congratulated herself that she was not reduced to crying. "I just... responded to conditioning, and not to you, and I'm ashamed for having imagined for an instant that you wouldn't stay this way with me, without needing to be paid in sexual currency. I don't need to do that with you, do I? Because what I've always had to try to get through sex is something you've never _not_ given me. You and I have always been intimate."

"I'm not going to stop treating you how I've always treated you just because our relationship is changing" _It **is** changing. This is so crazy._ Jane rolled on her side to face the other woman, mimicking Maura's posture and pose. "I'm not the type to expect anything from my… my partner except to accept me: job, warts, family, and all. Thankfully, you already do that. You don't have to do anything else." Glancing down at the space between them, she frowned, brows knitting together. For a bit, she was silent as she thought. _I mean, I **think** it's changing. Maybe I'm wrong. Am I wrong?_ Finally, she looked back to the doctor, voice unsure, "Am I right, Maura? About our relationship I mean. _Is_ it changing? If I'm off, let me know now. I mean, we haven't really done anything that's very different from how we always are with each other, except this sex conversation. That's new." _Way new. Totally new. Having sex with Maura? Scary. Sexy, though. Is that redundant? Not even going to bother to ask. Too weird._ "I think this is one time I don't really want to assume."

"I don't know," said Maura Isles, the woman with the highest IQ - intelligence quotient - that most people in her vicinity would ever encounter, and possibly the lowest EQ - Emotional Quotient. "The way we are, or have been until now, I need. Now that I've had this, doing without it is what invades my nightmares." Her hand snuck forward to rest on the comforter between them, a shyer request than she had made in years. "When we first met, do you remember how I was a little bit stand-offish? That was so stupid of me, but I think I understand why I did it. I didn't want to get used to having you, and then someday not have you. I didn't want you to change my routine or my expectations. You just," she chuckled, "you were so damnably persistent and sweet and genuine that I couldn't resist you. I've already been changed by you. I hope it's for the better, but I know it's for good. So I'm done, Jane. I'm too tired. I want to struggle _with_ you now, and not _against_ you. I think it's time for me to learn to be a little less structured and planned. Flow with the... What is it?"

"Go with the flow." _Now she decides to just go with it. Geeze. Also, she just read my mind. Creepy._ Jane's free hand slowly came to rest on top of Maura's where it lay on the comforter. "I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. Puppy dog, remember?" She smiled gently. "I think I want to give this a try, but, even if it doesn't work out, I don't think I could deal with you not being in my life anymore. We'd work it out. I know of a lot of exes that were still friends after. But," the hesitation caused an odd stillness in the air, "this is so new. Maybe we should keep it under wraps until we both feel comfortable with the new changes? I don't want to get scared and run off because of something stupid, and I don't want you to run away because you're afraid of something that might happen. I want us to be steady, like a rock… if that makes sense?"

"Like Gibraltar," Maura responded, "and I think you're right. It's a good idea to keep this only for ourselves, for now. I don't think you should tell your family this is a possibility for you unless you reach a point at which you'd be able to accept whatever their reactions would be. I'd say that work would be fine, except that your brother is a part of your professional life, too. We shouldn't put him in the position of knowing something that your mother isn't being told."

Jane simply nodded in agreement. _I'm so not ready to tell the family about this. Talk about drama. Oh. My. God._

"So… if you're like a puppy, does that mean you like things that Joe Friday likes? Long walks, curling up on the couch, and splashing around in puddles?" Maura's hesitant, shamefaced aura had been melting as Jane spoke, and now a little bit of her usual coy demeanor peeked out from the clouds. She could be playful. It might even be fun, knowing that she wouldn't _have_ to follow through if they didn't both feel it was absolutely right. She gave Jane's hand the slip, fingers stealing up to gently stroke a nonsensical pattern on Jane's abdomen, "Or do you prefer enjoy tummy rubs?"

"Yes." With a smile, Jane moved to lay on her back, scooting over into the open space where their hands had been, to give Maura better access. "Are you offering?" She grinned up at the doctor, eyes showing a hint of sparkle.

Maura's answering smile was followed with an apparent affirmative, warm fingers very tentatively beginning to stroke and then knead at Jane's sore abdominal muscles. Playfulness was one thing, but the brunette needed TLC more than mischief, at least in the midsection.

"Hmmm, that feels nice. Keep it up, and my leg might start thumping," a laugh playing in her voice, Jane reached up to place a hand on the side of Maura's face. _She's so pretty._ "If you were anyone else, this would never work." She ran her hand down the elegant facial features to rest on the curve of Maura's neck. "I'm normally stupid amounts of ticklish." _Frankie nearly made me piss my pants once..._

"I thought you might be," Maura responded as she used her whole hand, rather than just fingertips, eliciting sensations of comfort rather than surprise, and avoidingthe tickle response entirely by going slowly. "Tickling of the more forceful kind, which is unpleasant for almost everyone, is usually not something that can be trained away, but the lighter tickling, often lessens with repeated exposure to contact."

"Oh, so... like a puppy, you've been training me this whole time?" Jane turned her head more to the side, giving the honey blonde a mock annoyed look. _Figures she's been training me. Meh, I'm not really complaining._ "Do I at least get treats for good behavior? Other puppies get treats when they're good."

"I'm saying," Maura replied with playful sternness, "that you _haven't_ been training yourself out of the tickle response. I'm fairly certain you haven't had any extended or regular touching in months, given the way you react to me doing this. You didn't sleep with Jorge, did you? I thought at least you'd get to go to bed with him before you got bored."

Jane abruptly sat up. "I _did not_ sleep with Jorge. God, it was bad enough having to deal with him after only one date. Can you image what it'd have been like if I'd actually... no," she shook her head in the negative. _Hundreds of emails a day from Jorge, flowers every day from Jorge, gift baskets all the time from Jorge, Jorge every-freaking-where all the freaking time, and Jorge asking Pop's permission for my hand in marriage after one romp. I don't think so._ "No, no way I would have slept with him. I already told you, if I wanted to date someone like Jorge, I'd date," her sentence suddenly stopped flowing from her lips. _A woman. I said 'a woman', but I think I meant... Maura. Oh man, I have it bad._ A blush crept up her cheeks, and she gave a shy smile. "I would date a woman."

The blonde's lips pursed, then broke into a tentative smile as one hand rose to gently pull Jane back to her prone position. "I hope some of us are a better alternative to Jorge than just as someone who isn't him. I, for one, will never liken you to a sports car." Returning to her happy task of tummy rubbing, with the gradual addition of sides and solar plexus, she paused for a moment before disclosing, "I didn't sleep with Brock."


	3. Chapter 3

"No?" Wiggling a little in place, Jane resettled in her spot. "I'm actually kind of happy to hear that." _Whoo-freaking-hoo! There is a God. I hate that guy._ "He gives me the creeps. The way he was always staring at you, like you were a piece of meat or something. I kept having to resist the urge to punch him." _Repeatedly_. _.. in the head... with the butt of my gun._ She frowned, a guilty look flashing across her face. "He may have triggered my jealous streak...maybe." With a groan, one hand flew to cover her eyes. "Oh man, I'm sorry, Maura. It's not like you're my possession or something. I really don't have the right to walk around wanting to punch people because they look like they want to jump you. I'm sorry."

Maura snuggled up closer, altering her position yet again. This time, she propped her head on her hand again and snuck a leg over the joining of Jane's hips and thighs. Meanwhile, her massaging hand left off from that, long enough at least to pull Jane's hand away from her eyes. "Jane, sweetie, don't hide. Look at me. I don't want you to punch people, okay? But I don't want you to have to _feel_ like punching people, either. That's why I didn't sleep with Brock. Or anyone else, for the last... long, _long_ time."

"Wait a minute, Maura, that doesn't make any sense. We haven't been dating each other. Why would how I _might_ feel about a hook up or boyfriend of yours matter like that? I shouldn't keep you from getting laid." Jane frowned, clearly confused. _Why would that matter? We weren't dating. We were on a **double** date when she kissed Brock. Oh God, I could do without thinking about that again. I can't believe she kissed him. Bastard. I hate him. _Then, her eyes narrowed and mouth drew down into a thin line. "You _did_ kiss him, though. I _saw_ you kiss him."

"I went out with Brock," said Maura as she returned to massaging, though this time, on Jane's shoulders and collarbone, and only with the one hand, "because I had a need that I thought he'd be good at meeting. I suggested Jorge to you for the same reason. It wasn't until I kissed Brock that I knew the two things that made me decide not to sleep with him."

"Which were what, exactly?" Jane placed a hand on top of Maura's stilling them. _Does she know how distracting her touches are? No, probably not._ "Why not sleep with him? He was pretty enough, and I'm sure it would have been good or at least interesting considering his day job."

"Oh, he would," Maura replied easily, hand coming to rest under Jane's, near the clavicle furthest from herself. "I'm very good at picking sexual partners; he'd have been excellent in bed. But when I kissed him, I knew that you were upset about it. That, in turn, told me that I didn't want Brock after all. I was having more fun imagining all the possible reasons you might be upset about it than I'd been having before when imagining all the things I was going to do with him once we got back to his place."

"Well, huh. I... I'm sorry, Maur," Jane closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. _Maura in bed thinking about me. That's... really hot. Oh man, that's REALLY... wow. I really want to... stop thinking about Brock kissing her. I need brain bleach._ "I think I'm still stuck on the fact you _kissed him_. I feel like a jealous teenage boy. Just, um, just give me a moment here." Eyes still closed, she scrunched her nose in disgust. _Ew... gross... nasty... hate him... wonder if I could bring him up on something? Okay, not cool Rizzoli. Take a pill..._

The trouble with Maura was that, when asked for a moment, she gave it. Even when the urge to replace Jane's thoughts of her kissing Brock with thoughts of her kissing _Jane_ was almost uncontrollable, she did what was asked, and simply took a long, deep breath instead following her wants. At the end of it, when she judged that 'a moment' had passed, she asked quietly, "Have you really been thinking about that, all this time?"

Jane's eyes opened, her face an open book of her thoughts. "Yeah, it flashes in my head all the time when we're in yoga class or you mention him. It bothers me... a lot." _I still want to punch him._

Maura glanced down at their relative positions, though she really didn't need to look to know exactly how they lay together, fit like a warm jigsaw puzzle. She just liked to see them that way, and particularly liked the minute changes in Jane when she trailed her hand back out across the collarbone, around the shoulder, down the inner arm and wrist, and tucked her hand into Jane's. _We still haven't said or done anything from which we can't retreat. Maybe we should._ "Don't let it," she suggested as she lifted both their hands up towards her mouth, not to kiss, but only to let Jane's fingers feel her lips move as she spoke. "I didn't sleep with Brock that night, or since. I didn't go to his apartment. I didn't even kiss him good night when he drove me home. Brock wasn't the one on my mind that night, not from the moment I kissed him until I finally went to sleep. You were."

"I thought about what you and Brock were doing the whole time Jorge was comparing me to a finely tuned car and telling me he wanted to be a house husband. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and it drove me nuts that night after I finally got him to leave. I almost called you twice. But, I didn't want to interrupt anything." The detective's lanky form shivered under Maura's touch. _She's totally doing that on purpose._

"I'm kind of grateful that you didn't," Maura said unthinkingly as her eyes zeroed in on that shivering. _Fascinating. I wonder if I can make her do that again?_ This time she did kiss Jane's fingertips, just the middle two, and kept holding them there against the crease between her lips. "That would have been... awkward."

Again, a shiver ran through Jane. _Now she's just messing with me. Her lips are so soft. I wonder what they'd feel like... other places. Did I just think what I think I just thought? Okay, brain, get it together._ "Why? I thought you said you didn't take Brock home with you." Dark brown eyes focused in on the lips that had so gently kissed her fingertips.

"I didn't," Maura confirmed, hazel eyes lifting towards Jane's, as her tongue darted out for a quick flick against one sensitive fingerpad. "I didn't bring him home because I never invite anyone to my bed. I go to theirs. And I didn't go home with him because he wasn't the one I wanted." _Ask me_ , she silently pleaded, _ask me so I know that you want to know._

At the feel of Maura's tongue on her fingertips, an involuntary whimper escaped from Jane's lips before she could stop it. _Holy. Hell. She's going to kill me with her mouth. I mean... no, that's **exactly** what I mean. _"So, who _did_ you want, then?" _Must. Refocus._


	4. Chapter 4

"That's your question?" Maura asked, then flicked once again. She was smiling in amusement, but there was something beneath that smile that spoke of something quite a bit more serious. "Not... what would have been so awkward about that phone call? Not... what in the world could you possibly be interrupting, if I wasn't with Brock? Detective Rizzoli, I think you should turn in your badge."

"Nope. I like it. It's shiny and goes with _everything_ I wear. It's the perfect accessory." Jane swallowed hard. _Okay, I can't take this anymore. She's driving me crazy._ "I think I can take a guess at who _and_ what you were doing. I just don't want to be wrong because, if I am wrong, it means a lot of things that I won't like." She slowly sat up, using her free hand to steady herself until she could comfortably face the doctor while being in the more dominate position. _You're not the only one who can mess with people, woman._ "But, I'd hate to ruin my good reputation as a detective. So, I'm thinking," she pulled her hand away from Maura's grasp, placing it on the honey blonde's shoulder for balance, "that you were thinking about me, and I'm also thinking," she leaned forward, her face just a hair's breadth away from Maura's, "that you were thinking about me while you were doing some rather personal tension relieving exercises. Am I right, Dr. Isles?"

Maura remained lying on her back, though with Jane's new position, her leg was pushed a little further from center than was entirely modest. Their relative positioning and the intensity of the moment were playing merry havoc with her hormonal levels, making it difficult to think clearly. She shifted her posture just slightly to alleviate some discomfort that wasn't actually at all uncomfortable. What would her therapist say? She had problems in the past using sex to get the illusion of intimacy; but this was _Jane_ , with whom she was already so intimate that she had voluntarily avoided sex for months, just because she could now tell the difference between the illusion and the reality that she had been chasing in vain. The friend who was so close with her that this new way of relating almost seemed redundant. The person with whom most people who met them assumed she was already dating. "Jane," she breathed, reaching up towards her friend's beautiful, angular face, "I... I may need s-some privacy. Because I don't want to take advantage of your weakened state, and I'm really," she licked her lips and swallowed, "I'm... I..."

"Mine." It slipped out. _Filter is completely gone. Don't care. It's true, damn it. She's mine._ Closing the gap, Jane laid a gentle yet possessive kiss on Maura's lips, silencing her. "You're so mine." _Brock can bite me._ A growl rolled from the detective's lips as she kissed the doctor again, her hand moving from Maura's shoulder to tangle in the honey blonde tresses of the smaller woman.

" _Yours_ ," Maura agreed between one kiss and the next, and then had no more coherent words at all. There were only lips, and tongues, clumsy hands striving mightily not to stray inappropriately, frantic body having a blatantly difficult time holding onto that last shred of control before coming entirely undone from only that one, longed-for kiss.

A long moment passed as they explored this new connection before Jane hesitantly pulled back. "I really hate how sick I am right now." She slowly leaned back until she could settle on her back again, "because there's a lot I'd like to do right now that's just not going to happen." _But, it's going to happen. There's no way it's not going to happen now. I want her way too much to just act like I don't. Well, crap, I might actually be a dyke after all. Meh, if that means getting to be with Maura, maybe that's not so bad._ With a heavy sigh, she rolled her eyes. "If you still need some, um, _private_ time, give me a couple until the room stops spinning again, and I'll go take a bath so you can take care of things." She frowned. "I'm sorry, Maura." _As in, I'm sorry, Maura, that I really can't finish what I just started. God, am I **so** sorry._

Released from the kiss, Maura panted for a moment, reluctantly rolling back and away from Jane, pressing her thighs together until she could speak again, then deliberately forcing herself into relaxation. "Wow, you can _kiss_." One hand swept up through her hair and down the side of her head to her neck, coming to rest against her thudding heartbeat as she caught her breath, then turned back to rest a hand again on Jane's cheek, eyes filled with affection. "Please, don't be sorry. I'm glad you make me feel that way; and even though I'm sorry you've been sick, I'm not sorry that it means we'll have to slow down a little. Thank you for knowing your limits, Jane."

The detective grunted. _Stupid limits. I hate you. Bastard._

Maura took another long moment to breathe and assess her feelings. "I think... I think I'll be okay now. Actually, why don't I shower while you rest, and then I'll get dressed, and then you can shower? That way, if you do need me to steady you like last time, I'll be able to help you immediately." _Instead of, for instance, needing a minute to pull myself together._ Maura scooted off the bed and stood, a little shaky perhaps, but not in danger of falling over. She did, however, return for one more kiss, much less frantic than one might expect, before heading off for the bathroom. Just after the water turned on, one could just barely hear a fervent, " _God_ , that was close."


	5. Chapter 5

_I'd kill to be my shower head about right now._ With another frustrated grunt, Jane rolled onto her stomach, face down in the pillow. _Pressure on my stomach feels good. Wonder what that means? I should ask. Not going to, but I should._ She remained still, waiting for Maura to finish her shower. _'God, that was close'? What does **that** mean? Does that mean she was scared we might go through with everything? Does that mean she doesn't really want to be with me like that? **What** was close?Is she already having second thoughts? Okay, **that** I'm asking her about when she gets back in here. I can't do an on again/off again thing with her. I need her too much for that. I **need** her? _ "Yeah, I need her," she grumbled into her pillow.

The water ran to get warm while Maura put her hair into a bun, brushed her teeth and washed her face. It was an older apartment building, and while there had been superficial updates such as newer cabinets and fixtures, the plumbing needed a little work.

Maura really only took two kinds of showers. There was the kind she took at home, lasting half an hour, in which she would wash and condition her hair, exfoliate, shave, soap every part of herself at least twice, scrub away calluses, and ready herself as would a courtesan for a king's bed; and there were the kind she generally took only at Jane's place, five minutes to get wet and get out so someone else could have a turn.

Today's shower took thirteen minutes.

Afterward, Maura dried herself nominally, then wrapped up in the towel to head back to Jane's room. The hot water had done her good; she seemed very relaxed. "Your turn."

"K," came a hoarse and slightly muffled response. Jane remained where she was, still face down in the middle of the bed. Her arms were stretched out, hands hanging over the edge on either side. Long legs tangled with the covers at the foot of the bed. _I should get up, or move, or something._ "You smell good." _Really? Wow. That's what comes out of my mouth?_

The delight on Maura's face broke through even her Olympic gold medal state of relaxation. "Smells don't sicken you," she pointed out with understated glee, practically skipping to Jane's side to sit down and lean in for an excited, but gentle, hug. She _did_ smell good, having brought her own shower gel that smelled of something exotic, secret, warm. "That means you're over the lump."

"Hump," came the muffled response. _Guess I better get up._ "I told you I was feeling better." Grudgingly, Jane pulled her arms in to push herself up to a sitting position. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she finally glanced over. _Towel. Nothing but a towel. Dear God, she's only in a towel... and she's still kind of wet._ "You... um... wear? What are you... clothes?" The stuttering preceded the jaw drop by only a few seconds. "I mean... uh... yeah." _Brain... work, damn you._ "I'm just going to," the detective started backing quickly off the bed, scrambling to stand. "go... over there," she pointed toward the bathroom, "and do... that... stuff." _Crap... towel... just... towel._ With less than graceful movements, Jane turned and scurried to her bathroom to take her turn at taking a shower.

Quickly, Maura glanced at the clock to check the time. _Five minutes, or fifteen?_ she wondered, and smiled anew at the thoughts the question produced. _None of that, you shameless thing,_ she chided herself after a moment, standing rapidly to finish the drying process and find something to wear. _Next thing you know, I'll need another shower._ She removed the towel, hung it on the doorknob, and set to the task at hand.

Her hands had already pulled out one of Jane's drawers to look for a suitable T-shirt when she paused and closed it again. She had already indulged far too much, over the past two days, in the luxury of having Jane's clothing against her skin, the same fabric that regularly held that long, dazzling body. It was time for her to resume her usual fare, to reassert the calm, in-control personality that would no doubt save her from the embarrassment of throwing herself at her best friend. Jane might feel better, but she would still be tired, still be a little hesitant. _This might still happen, but not right away_ , she promised herself. _Jane needs to know it really is about her, and not just about releasing tension or chasing a mirage of intimacy. She needs to know she's paramount for me._

With that, Maura turned resolutely away from Jane's chest-o'-drawers and towards her own overnight bag, where she picked over the available selection. Plenty of underthings, one dress, and some loungewear. Better go with the loungewear, in case we want to be… comfortable. Grey knit trousers that showed off her legs' musculature without being obscene, a loose green top that visually concealed most of the important things while leaving them available to the touch, just in case. _Just in case what, Maura? Just in case Jane recovers miraculously and decides she really does want what her exhausted, addled mind has been suggesting, independent of my promptings?_

_…Okay, yes, just in case of that._

The shower was warm already, and it took little time for Jane to climb in. _Maura in a towel...mmm..._ Her hands worked on autopilot to wash away the night's dirt and clean her hair as her mind wandered over the body she'd often thought of even if she refused to admit she daydreamed about doing less than friend-like, though not less than pleasurable, things with best friend.

As she finished and began to dry off, her mind unclouded. _I didn't bring in any clothes. Why does this matter? We've already seen each other naked. I mean, what does it matter now?_ She pulled a bottle of lotion from her cabinet and began to apply it as she tried to figure out what was happening. _Well, **before** it didn't matter because we were just friends. Now, we're... what the hell are we? Girlfriends? Possibility of being girlfriends? How weird is it that I'm not weirded out at the idea of having a girlfriend? I don't even know._ She located her blow dryer and systematically worked through drying her long, thick hair. _Yeah, I'm thinking girlfriend. That's something else I should ask her. I'm starting to form a list._ Wrapping a towel around her now clean, dry, and lotioned frame, she stepped out of the bathroom and made her way back to her bedroom. "Hey, Maura, as you've been digging through my stuff, did you happen to see my Sox shirt? You know, the one that's all red?"

"Yes," Maura replied as she checked the mirror, fluffing her hair for all the world like a woman in a restaurant bathroom, primping for her date. "Let me get it for you." She had not yet looked in Jane's direction. That didn't happen until she stood, hands grasping the T-shirt, black shorts, and what she suspected were Jane's favorite undergarments, closed the drawer with her foot, and turned around. "Hm. It seems I owe you an apology," she said after the briefest of pauses, walking forward to hand over the bundle of clothing.

"Thanks," Jane took the offered clothing. "An apology for what? This is the shirt. I mean, I could have gotten it myself. I was just wondering where it was." _How is it that she can look that good in something I know she just sits around the house in. The woman has super powers of looking hot, I swear._ "What? Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have a bruise in a weird place or something?" Brown eyes quickly glanced down to double check.

Maura didn't even shake her head; it was hard enough keeping her eyes on Jane's face. She failed, in fact, twice, one flick down near the midsection of Jane's body and one all the way to the floor and back. "No. I just didn't realize how much it must have stressed you when I came in here like that. Pink and damp and in just a towel." Her filter had gone all to hell again, and by the look on her face, she didn't even realize it.

"Well, I've had worse wakeup calls," Jane set the clothes on the end of her bed and walked toward the doctor. "But, can't say I've had any better wakeup calls than that." Smirking, she held the towel closed with one hand as she reached around Maura's waist with the other, pulling them together. "So, you know, it's not like I was complaining." A few kisses to emphasize the point passed between them before Jane gently released her hold. "I need to get dressed, and I'm hungry. I think I could eat something." She turned back to the bed, picking through the pile to find her underthings.

Maura' earlier thought returned to her as Jane kissed her, but this time she murmured it aloud as Jane released her to stand alone on legs that wobbled slightly, then started in with actions that, Maura knew, would eventually lead to the removal of that towel. "I'm going to need another shower." Quickly, she turned towards the door. "You know, I think I'm going to go make us something to eat. I want you to have something with protein in it, to get your strength back."

"I bet you do," with a snort of laughter, Jane turned away from the door and reached for her towel. "You have fun with finding something in my house that isn't cereal or beer." With a fluid flick of her wrist, the towel dropped to pool at her feet. Jane kicked the towel out of the way and behind her, unintentionally hitting the doctor in the leg. "Are these my black boyshorts? Man, I've been looking for these everywhere. Sweet." She pulled them on, letting the band pop into place.


	6. Chapter 6

Maura stopped walking immediately and bent straight down from the hip, legs straight, to pick up the towel. Apology she might have owed for her own little towel-wrapped sojourn, but this? "That's fighting dirty, Jane. You'll pay for that someday soon." She picked up the towel, hung it on the other side of the doorknob, and with effort left the bedroom. She had things to accomplish.

"Lieutenant, I'm sorry to report that Jane spent the majority of the last two days unable to keep down any food or drink. I was very worried about her. No, she hasn't vomited within the last hour," true, though the time span was much longer by now, "but she's still very weak. I want her to eat and drink whatever she can stomach, stay in bed as much as possible, and I'm going to keep her under close watch until she's back on top of things again."

"Hello, Happy Panda? I'd like to make an order for delivery…"

"Mrs. Rizzoli, it's Maura. I wanted to give you a little update..."

Jane dressed but decided to stay in her room. Between the shower, the hair drying, and such, she was beat. _So tired of being tired._ She climbed into the middle of her bed and curled up in a little ball, sheets and pillows surrounding her like a nest but not touching her. _Maura'll get me when there's food._ With a heavy sigh, she reached up and pulled the pillow the doctor slept on to her chest, inhaling deeply. _I like how she smells._

The phone call with Angela Rizzoli took longer than Maura had anticipated. There were all sorts of questions, as well as frequent offers to drop by with food, medicines, or just to check on Jane. She hung up, feeling dazed. "Now I know why Jane always looks so tired after talking to her mother," she told Joe Friday, who was waiting patiently for some attention. Just then, the doorbell rang. Maura ran to let in the Happy Panda delivery man, presented him with a generous tip, and brought the food inside. She set it all out on the coffee table, with proper dishes and cutlery instead of the paper take-away containers, before walking back to the bedroom.

"Aww," Maura murmured at the sight of her friend, curled up tight and contentedly. Instead of calling her name, she simply sat on the bed and began stroking Jane's head, shoulders, and arms softly, wanting her to waken in an easy, comforting manner.

"Maura?" Jane's voice was soft. "Hey," she slowly opened her eyes, content to let the petting continue. "Something smells like food. Did you order in?" Not making a move to uncurl, Jane closed her eyes, focusing on the doctor's light touch. "What did you mean in the shower when you said, 'God, that was close'?" _Where the hell did that come from? This no filter thing has **got** to stop before I say something really bad that I can't take back like... I don't know..._

Maura's eyes lowered. "You heard that?" she asked softly.

"I heard you say it from all the way in here. Did that mean that, maybe, you don't want me to your girlfriend?" _Like that because, clearly, I'm 13 and have never dated before._ "Oh man, I'm sorry, Maur. I don't know where that came from. You don't have to answer that. The food smells good." She sat up, pillow still clutched to her chest. "We should go eat before it gets cold."

"No," Maura hastened to say, stopping Jane's movement with a hand, soft upon Jane's shoulder. "I want to answer your question first. Well, I don't _want_ to answer, but I think I should." Her face was turning pink, just as it had looked right out of the shower. "I was very, um. Do you remember me telling you that my conditioned responses to stimuli are very quick? I was very near to… embarrassing us both with that. I needed to stop touching you, stop looking at you, and just take some time to collect myself. Hey, don't," she broke off, seeing the look on Jane's face. "That's not a rejection. Jane, I want this. I want this so much. But not right away, not before you're in good health. Not before you're feeling strong again."

"Okay, that's... that's good." The brunette stopped trying to move. "I feel kind of... silly for asking. But, I have this thing about knowing what stuff is." She shrugged. "I guess it's the detective in me." _I should just drop this. Why can't I drop this? Oh, right, because I want... a lot of things. I can't even **think** it in my head. How am I going to get this out?_ Gripping the pillow tightly, Jane's face shutdown as she thought about how to ask what she felt. "I need a label, Maura. I don't want to sleep with you... right now. I mean, I do," _so much it hurts,_ "but, I'm not ready yet. So, let's just shelve that, okay? You don't have to worry about thinking that I might think you're just using me for sex because it's not going to happen. One, I know you, and I know you wouldn't use me like that. Two, I'm not ready to take that step. I want to, eventually, but I'm not there yet." _I need to do some research first..._ "But, I need a label so I can put my mind at ease and know where we're on the same page; know we're headed in the same direction with this." _So, yeah, I'm 13._ "Does that make sense?"

"I said, not before you're feeling strong," Maura repeated, letting go Jane's face and taking her hands, instead. Her beautiful, precious hands that Maura loved to touch, to hold. "That means you're going to come to this from a place of security, and so am I. It'll take a while. There will be days and nights when I want you more than I want to. More than I should*. But you are so very worth any amount of waiting, Jane."

This time, the kisses she bestowed upon those dear hands were chaste, and the contrast was astonishing. "If you need something to call this, to feel stronger in it, then pick any label that you like. We're… dating. Courting. Girlfriends. Seeing one another. Interested. None of those are very far from what we've already had for a long time; the only real difference is that now we both know that more is possible for us, and we can talk about it now."

"Okay," a dark haired head nodded gently. "Thank you. We should... we should go eat." Jane gently pulled her hands away, making a move to get off the bed. "It smells good, and I'm starving." She rolled off the edge of the bed, standing up with only a slight hint of weakness. "Maybe we can walk Joe after?"

"Yes," Maura agreed, offering a steadying arm by way of slipping her arm under Jane's and walked with her… girlfriend… into the living room, where nourishment awaited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * "There will be days and nights / when I want you / more than I want to / more than I should" are lyrics from a song, "You And I," from the musical Chess
> 
> The next title in this series is "A Little More".


End file.
